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the online home of author, educator, and speaker Mary Beth Ellis

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Friday, January 16, 2009
On Along The Rails:
Last work

On Blonde Champagne:
Paring down and moving on

On The Side Dish:
Let's avoid being Destroyed in Seconds, shall we?
Thursday, January 15, 2009
On Along The Rails:
The Pre-Derby Dozen

On Blonde Champagne:
Blonde birthday wishes
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
On Along The Rails:
Mary Beth needs a date to to Eclipse Awards.  And also, a way to watch the Eclipse Awards.

On Blonde Champagne:
We are now fully accessorized.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
On Along The Rails:
Poor, pregnant Azeri's dance card is empty

On Blonde Champagne:
Mary Beth does a little shopping

On The Side Dish:
Feeling The Burn
Monday, January 13, 2009
On Along The Rails:
The Lukas has spoken

On Blonde Champagne:
But what about the Metro? 

Sunday, January 11, 2009
On Along The Rails:
Joe Hirsch:  Couldn't be better
Saturday, January 10, 2009
On Blonde Champagne:
Aunt Beth is the Cookie Whisperer.

On Along The Rails:
If Santa loves you, he did not give you this.
Friday, January 9, 2009
At Orbital Velocity:
Landing.

At Along The Rails:
Mary Beth respectfully asks you to spread the love.

At Blonde Champagne:
Oh, and she has a question, too.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
At Along The Rails:
Go ahead, ride on sunshine
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
On Blonde Champagne:
Scrubs

On Along The Rails:
Well, here's one vote for Big Brown.

On Orbital Velocity:
Oh, and by the way, we might collide with another galaxy. 

On The Side Dish:
Lookin' for a good time, cowboy?
Monday, January 5, 2009
On Orbital Velocity:
Whither Uly the Robot?

On Along The Rails:
Sweet, Gulfstream's open!

On The Side Dish:
A new season of The Biggest Loser is on tap

On Blonde Champagne:
God is watching us, and not from a distance, either
Friday, January 2, 2009
On Orbital Velocity:
Taikonauts on the move!

On Along The Rails:
Got your SSN handy?
Thursday, January 1, 2009
On Along The Rails:
Happy birthday, horses!

On Orbital Velocity:
"Tear down this (space) wall!"

On The Side Dish:
Mary Beth:  SO not a Marine.

On Blonde Champagne:
Oh, look who's gonna sparkle and shine in Technicolor.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
On Orbital Velocity:
Astronaut Dr. David Wolf talks ISS toilets, training for future missions, and, of course, sex in space.

On Along The Rails:
2009 in perspective

On Blonde Champagne:
Mary Beth has incredibly crappy news for one and all.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
On Along The Rails:
We're just glad that River Downs is safe for now.

On Blonde Champagne:
Mary Beth offers her most sincere congratulations to the people of Detroit.

Saturday, December 27, 2008
On Along The Rails:
It's a quarantine in the Big Easy
Friday, December 26, 2008
On Along The Rails:
Sigh.  This time, it's the jockey who's testing positive.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Yes, Mary Beth was working on Christmas Day.  Because she loves you, that's why!

On Along The Rails:
Here's one incredibly cheerful Christmas letter.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
On Orbital Velocity:
What exactly was the Christmas Star?

On Along The Rails:
Three Chimneys has a marketing moment

On The Side Dish:
We're having a Bowl Ball!

On Blonde Champagne:
On this holy holiday eve, Mary Beth is eating Fritos and taking calls.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
On Along The Rails:
Have you hugged your friendly track bugler today?

On Blonde Champagne:
Mary Beth has a Christmas Epiphany. 

Monday, December 22, 2008
On Orbital Velocity:
Mary Beth explores all the reasons why any day you manage to include the words "blasted with electromagnetic waves" in a sentence is a good day for everybody.

On Along The Rails:
Big Brown's Belmont loss? Yeah, even worse than you thought.

On The Side Dish:
Lady was a total tramp.

On Blonde Champagne:
Just in case you're not sure you're in a bad Subway... here are a few clues.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Upcoming Event:
Morning Works Media is pleased to announce that Mary Beth will be conducting a reading/discussion/Q&A/funky dance breakdown of Drink to the Lasses at the Saint Mary's College 2009 Reunion, complete with some of the real-life ladies of Regina Two North.  It'll take place on campus on Saturday, June 6, with venue and exact time TBA.  Stay tuned to the Events and Appearances page for further details.

And now for two from Along the Rails:
A little something to look forward to

And even more deepishly, Mary Beth ponders why it might not be best to rely on The Next Great Deliverer

Over on Orbital Velocity:
Send a Christmas card to the International Space Station
Friday, December 19, 2008
On Orbital Velocity:
Getcha some Capt. Weems right here!

On Blonde Champagne:
It's a tearing-things-up kind of day.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
On Along The Rails:
BREAKING NEWS!  No, REALLY this time!

On Orbital Velocity:
How about your very own space shuttle? 

On Blonde Champagne:
Mary Beth is still kickin'.  And screwin' up cookies.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
On Blonde Champagne:
Mary Beth wants to know why medicore = Mele Kalilimaka.

On Along The Rails:
ESPN on some Stuff of the Year

On Orbital Velocity:
Swingin' Darth Vader!
Friday, December 12, 2008
On Freelance Switch:
Working out with MB and Yelly
Some of you had trouble accessing the FS article posted a few days ago, so here's the link again.

On Along The Rails:
There was snow on the Mardi Gras beads yesterday

On Blonde Champagne:
In one post, Mary Beth heals the whole darn world

On Orbital Velocity:
Everything was for the first time on Apollo 8
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
On Along The Rails:
Where slots are concerned, you gotta follow the money.

On Blonde Champagne:
Meh.  Also, Batman smells.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
On Blonde Champagne:
Mary Beth issues a vital HOMELAND SECURITY ALERT

On Freelance Switch:
Structure and the freelancer

On Along The Rails:
Working on the backstretch at Tampa Bay Downs?  Hang on to your wallet.

On Orbital Velocity:
If you've got yourself a rocket in your backyard, it's a good day.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
On Blonde Champagne:
Remembering Pearl Harbor
Saturday, December 5, 2008
On Along The Rails:
BREAKING NEWS:  It's the name of the new reality show starring jockeys!  It's... it's...

On Orbital Velocity:
Heading to the edge

On Blonde Champagne:
Mary Beth has a job interview.  And punts.
 
Thursday, December 4, 2007
On Along The Rails:
Mary Beth's totally gearing up for Tampa Bay Downs' 08-09 season, because... free calendars!

On Blonde Champagne:
Bubbles!
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
On Blonde Champagne:
Yes, Mommy still loves you.
Monday, December 1, 2008
On Along The Rails:
A grateful Churchill Downs crowd says a farewell to Curlin

On Orbital Velocity:
Down about the cost of air travel?  Imagine Endeavour's first class ticket.

On Blonde Champagne:
Concerning underwear, and also Play-Doh
Friday, November 28, 2008
On Along The Rails:
Churchill Downs, winding down for the season
Thursday, November 27, 2008
On Along The Rails:
Did you have to work today?  So did plenty of horses and jockeys.

On Orbital Velocity:
Iced tea and turkey for the ISS and Endeavour crews

On The Side Dish:
America RickRolled!

On Blonde Champagne:
Mary Beth shares a little classic 'KRP with her much-appreciated The Readers
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
For the first time, Mary Beth is appearing on Catholic Online: 
Adoration:  There and Back Again

On Along The Rails:
Posh surroundings for Funny Cide's retirement

On Orbital Velocity:
In the beginning (of flight, anyway)

On the Side Dish:
You Kid Rocks and your "All Summer Long"s...

On Blonde Champagne:
Mary Beth gets domestic.  Beware, as always.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
On Along The Rails:
Get your mint juleps ready!

On The Side Dish:
If you're a Rockette, YOU MUST KICK.

On Orbital Velocity:
Those spacesuits... so amazing, they click.

On Blonde Champagne:
Mary Beth just tries to help those who are less than thrilled with the results of Election Day.
Friday, November 21, 2008
On Along The Rails:
That's Life

On Blonde Champagne:
Recipe Direction of the Week

On the Side Dish:
Mary Beth reveals why she's no longer intimidated by Bond Girls
Thursday, November 20, 2008
On Along The Rails:
One fire claims 28 racehorses

On Orbital Velocity:
Another EVA in the bag-- and this one stays on board

On The Side Dish:
Let's go to the mall!

The music of Saturday Night Live

On Blonde Champagne:
Smile, darn ya, smile
Tuesday, November 19, 2008
On Along The Rails:
Curlin?  Yep, done.

On Orbital Velocity:
Just don't call it "spacewalking"

On Blonde Champagne:
Great move, sport.
Monday, November 17, 2008
On Blonde Champagne:
Mary Beth provides some Extra Sugar Commentary on the STS-126 launch; the audio is here, and the companion video is both above as well as at this link.

On Along The Rails:
Curlin, now competing with Big Brown for the laaaaaaaaaaaadies.

On Orbital Velocity:
Chipmunk cheeks... in space
Sunday, November 16, 2008
On Along The Rails:
Horses.  Racing horses.

On Blonde Champagne:
Baby Cousin Baptism Commentary, By:  Will The Small Child Nephew
Thursday, November 13, 2008
On Along The Rails:
Meet Pat Day's heir apparent

On Orbital Velocity:
Space through the church windows

On The Side Dish:
What's the Travel Channel's itinerary? 

On Blonde Champagne:
They've Got a Mission UPDATE
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
On Along The Rails:
Jockey Pat Day really does stay classy

On The Side Dish:
Drama is eating away at The Biggest Losers

On Orbital Velocity:
What do astronauts eat in space?

On Blonde Champange:
Josh The Pilot has A Mission!
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
On Along The Rails:
You, Me, and TVG

On Blonde Champagne:
We love our veterans!
Monday, November 10, 2007
On Along The Rails:
Hey, remember all those horses named after 1986 pop hits?

On Orbital Velocity:
Meet John Glenn... in 1938

On Blonde Champagne:
Mary Beth daintily grabs a morsel of comfort food
Saturday, November 8, 2008
On Along The Rails:
Mythical Throwdown!
Friday, November 6, 2008
On Along The Rails:
Curlin's lack of propers

On Blonde Champagne:
Never, ever piss off a writer.

On The Side Dish:
Half an hour of free birth control
Thursday, November 6, 2008
On Along The Rails:
Maryland, baby.  Maryland.

On Orbital Velocity:
Music On Orbit

On Blonde Champagne:
Mary Beth on the vital issue of mashed potatoes and cows
Wednesday, November 6, 2008
On Along The Rails:
High-Priced Ladies

On Orbital Velocity:
Following STS-126

On The Side Dish:
Bob & Tom, On The Air

On Blonde Champage:
Mary Beth's been de-Barbied!
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
On Blonde Champagne:

Mary Beth has some very serious commentary about this most historic election.
Monday, November 3, 2008
On Along The Rails:
Another step away from slaughter

On Orbital Velocity:
Bad Astronomy, good website

On The Side Dish:
Survey says:  It's really pregnant over there

On Blonde Champagne:
Tomorrow's Election Day.  And Mary Beth is gonna need a bucket.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
On Along The Rails:
REALLY HUGELY IMPORTANT BREAKING NEWS involving.... the Kentucky Derby logo

Jockeys and Whips and Leather, Hooray!

On Blonde Champagne:
Mary Beth closes out Non-Election Totally Out of Context Sports Week
Thursday, October 30, 2008
On Along The Rails:
Hold on a second, I'm on the other line with my horse

Distorted Humor's Magical Male Stuff On Sale!

On Orbital Velocity:
Good grief

Hello, moon

On The Side Dish:
Loooooooooooosers

I Wrecked My Ship, and All I Got Was This Lousy Orange Juice Press

On Blonde Champagne:
Green gut and ham

Vital economic indicators
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
On Blonde Champagne:
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too much information

On Along The Rails:
Curlin:  Time for the ladies?
Monday, October 27, 2008
On Along the Rails:
All about the money, honey

On Orbital Velocity:
Future astronauts? 

On The Side Dish:
Home game, everybody!  Home game!

On Blonde Champagne:
It's a pimpy Halloween
Sunday, October 26, 2008
On Along The Rails:

Ladies' Night

Breeders' Cup Surprise!

Friday, October 24, 2008
On Along The Rails:
The fantastic mix of jockeys and reality television

On The Side Dish:
Why it's vitally important to "stand out" at the gun range

On Orbital Velocity:
Dress the part

On Blonde Champagne:
Speaking of guns...
Thursday, October 23, 2008
On Blonde Champagne:
You spin me right round, baby.

On Along The Rails:
Exotic Ladies
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
At Orbital Velocity:
GRINning

At Along The Rails:
"A decent spot."

At The Side Dish:
Whooooo, dirty party!

At Blonde Champagne:
Come On Barbie, Let's Go Horrify Small Innocent Children
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
On Along The Rails:
Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake!

On Blonde Champagne:
The Smithsonian and the Holograms
Monday, October 20, 2008
On Along The Rails:
Again!

On Orbital Velocity:
Who was that First Man?

On The Side Dish:
You guys never read my blog, do you?

On Blonde Champagne:
Great gobs of chocolately lies
Sunday, October 19, 2008
On Along The Rails:
Aw!

Jockey Julie Krone:  "GIVE ME BACK MY SADDLE."

So... Canada, eh?

On Blonde Champagne:
Have a little Caesar

Thursday, October 16, 2008
On Blonde Champagne:
It's one of Mary Beth's gamechanging liveblogs!  Why both candidates for President want her out of a day job.

On Along The Rails:
Everybody's dissing the old guy.

On Orbital Velocity:
Boo!

On The Side Dish:
Between your gas and electric bill.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
On Blonde Champagne:
Mary Beth is the Worst  Aunt. Ever.

On Along The Rails:
Big Brown's Big Owie

On Orbital Velocity:
One of the many faces of NASA

On The Side Dish
What are you doing Inaugural Eve?
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
On Along The Rails:
Big Brown's retired and so are these jockeys, but the jocks will ride again.

On Orbital Velocity:
See Cocoa Beach!

On The Side Dish:
Hi Bob!

On Blonde Champagne:
If you're wondering why Mary Beth didn't post yesterday, it's because she was spending seventy hours amongst The People.
Sunday, October 12, 2007
On Along the Rails:
We talked two horses this weekend, one live and working, one not-so-live and embronzed. 

Go meet both.
Friday, October 10, 2008
On Along The Rails:
Don't click "Send" on that "I Went to the 2010 Breeders' Cup in Louisville and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt" order just yet.

On Orbital Velocity:
Mary Beth meets astronaut Alan Bean, and, as expected, FAILS both as non-dork and a non-annoyance.

On The Side Dish:
The election: Reality show, newscast, or sitcom?

On Blonde Champagne:
In a Pew Near You.  For an hour.

Yep.

Whooolllle hour.

One full hour.

Nothin' but the pew.  Oh, and God. 

She's pretty sure.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
On Along The Rails:
Come on down to Louisville!  Breeders' Cup World Championship party!  In... 2010! Whhhooooooooooo!

On Blonde Champagne:
Here is a link to a post about this page, which links back to the post on this page.

On Orbital Velocity:
Mozilla (hearts) NASA
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
On Along The Rails:
Big Brown, still running.  (And no, not for the finish line at the Belmont.)

On The Side Dish:
During the PBS shoot last night, Mary Beth had to sit boy-girl, boy-girl.  Shriek! 

On The Corner at National Review Online:
Documentary host Rick Brookhiser gives Mary Beth a shout-out.  Double shriek!  (Thanks to Tony The Reader for the headsup.)
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
On Blonde Champagne:
Mary Beth's liveblogging the debate, and PBS was there.  No, she did not get a tote bag.

On Along The Rails:
If you're not doing anything today, could Mary Beth please have a racing stable?
Monday, October 6, 2008
On Blonde Champagne: 
Mary Beth totally knows somebody who's all famous and stuff.  And there's PICTURES!

On Along The Rails:
Please sir, might I have a horse racing TV network of my very own?

On The Side Dish:
In Praise of Frasier
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Don't panic.

I know it's different, new and scary.  I myself am at least two of these three things.

But I also know that with all the new columns that have come my way lately, it's been difficult to keep everyone updated:  Is she writing about Thoroughbreds?  Mars?  Wine?  Drunk jockeys on Mars? 

Moving the BlondeChampagne.com URL here will provide one-stop shopping for each of my online columns, not to mention my radio show at BlogTalk.  Each time I post, no matter where, a link will appear here.

This also means that those of you who signed up for the newsletter can come here every day for the latest; therefore, the weekly updates will stop.  They'll be replaced by the occasional special announcement and appearance news-- so if you haven't become a newsletter subscriber, go ahead on.

When I write for a site which isn't one of my regulars, I'll let you know about that, too.  You can reach each individual site-- including the original, beautifully bottled Blonde Champagne-- by using the tabs on the left side of the page. 

For the time being, let's go to my usual fix for everything, one that never fails in times of crisis and change... a picture of a baby horse.
Baby horse, at your calming service